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Gender vs Sex

and how sexism is still problematic.


Alright, here's another touchy topic so remember, I am writing from my OWN point of view into a very large problematic and I am aware that I do not know all the answers.


There has been a "kind" of debate for a few years about sex vs gender and I am NOT here to start that debate all over again. So let's do a quick definition from which to start from.


Sex: Mostly binary information given at birth, depending on things like chromosomes and what you have between your legs. Puts you into either the male, female, or either category.

Gender: Whatever you "feel like" you are inside, be it male, female, none of the answers, all of the answers, something like "apache helicopter". Your choice.


The problem people have is that, sex and gender USED to mean the same thing AND that people before couldn't be arsed to teach that there is actually more than 2 biological sex. I will not go into details about that here, as I am no expert on the matter. But yes, it happens. However, most people have so much confirmation bias that words changing meaning over time can be very very hard to accept.


It comes with the dual problem of sexism, by which people are USED to treating people depending on their perceived sex. Whether it's blatant sexism or low-key casual sexism like the server giving the check to the man at the table, it's still sexism. And much of our learned "accepted" behaviors IS sexist. From asking the man to open that sturdy mason jar, to expecting the woman of the couple will be the one entertaining from the kitchen.


I, for one, have NOTHING against doing those things. The problem lies with the fact that it is EXPECTED and ENFORCED. Failure to do so will often result in bullying, half-hidden insults and other demeaning things. It makes working in an environment traditionally reserved for one or the other mean that you'll have to work twice as much in order to be seen as competent. It means men jogging shirtless is fine, but woman have to hide their nipples on facebook.


So, of course, if people's feelings and behaviors do not fit with what is expected from society, maybe it's better or easier to just say "I don't think of myself as x, so please view me as y". Except that's one more minority, one you can't even "see" most of the time. Which makes this even more problematic to a lot of people. They can't see, feel, or logically understand that stance.


Personally, I feel like having a NEED to create a discussion about the difference of gender vs sex means there is still a lot wrong with lurking sexism, and I feel that instead of removing categories, like male vs female, we're just putting people into SMALLER categories in a poor attempt to understand that, well, people are different. Categories are easy to understand and make sense of. But like the fact that tomato is a fruit, categories aren't all that clear, or simple, or helpful into making a healthy fruit salad. You've got to use your brains and logic for each and every situation


That's why I've decided to go with the label agender. I will personally not be offended whatever pronouns you feel like using on that day, or if you think I am handsome instead of pretty. But I WILL stand up if you're using any of those to make a sexist comment like "man up" or "go make me a sandwich".


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