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I am polyamorous and that's OK

I feel like starting with this one topic. I feel it's important so some things can get placed and you start knowing me. Maybe that'll help you.


Ever since I started dating, I felt like I needed to "love only one". Find prince charming, wed, have kids. Except it never worked out for me like that. I never considered myself cheating, but now that I am more of an adult, I realize how it could have been seen by some as such. I couldn't help but be confused all the time when people would say things like "if you're looking at someone else, it means you ain't really in love with your date". Well.. no. I did love my date. I have loved each and every single person I have ever dated in some way or another.


So here's what I was faced with. Stay single, or force myself to stay faithful. I tried both but it never quite seemed to work. I wasn't happy single because I did love, and I loved a bunch! I just loved too much, too many. Then I tried the other way and forced myself to be faithful. Expect I didn't know at the time that different people have different concept of being faithful. To me, I never cheated, because I never touched someone else while I was in relationships. But some partners would get jealous of me just thinking of someone, role-playing with someone, or having friends of the sex I am attracted to (which is a bullshit argument since am I bi, no friends for me?)


I kept feeling chained, kept feeling like there was something wrong with me. Of course I should have been able to be satisfied with one romantic partner. That's just how life is.


I've been terribly lucky to end up in a long term relationship with my current nesting partner*. When we started dating, I told him I didn't want chains, didn't want to feel jealousy, didn't want to feel like I couldn't go flirting at the bar or say how hot that girl is. So we decided to have an open relationship and set down some rules. It was only a few years later that we've actually learned there is a more appropriate name for the type of couple we are.


We are polyamorous. We aren't polyamorous because we wanna fuck all night long in orgy (common misconception). We are polyamorous because we don't think anyone belongs to anyone or should be able to control that person. We are polyamorous because we don't get how loving someone means you somehow have less love to give to others. We are polyamorous because we don't believe that one person can be "your all".


This doesn't mean we think any less of people in a monogamous relationship. I actually think it's awesome when 2 people can make each other happy and it works that way for them. I am just here to say, if it isn't for you, that's OK too. Loving more than one person doesn't make you a slut anymore than being Bi does.





*In a polyamorous setting, means someone you are in a relationship with and also living with. Often the primary partner but not always.

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